LGBTQIA and Cannabis: An Interview

Introduction

It’s pride month and we couldn’t be happier to celebrate our LGBTQIA consumers! And what better way to do that than by handing the mic over to someone who has lived to be a part of this beautiful community?

We took it upon ourselves to reach out to Jessica Soto, a member of the Occidental Cultural Cannabis Association in Mexico and a proud bi-sexual woman, to understand how cannabis helped her journey to live her truest self.

She opened up about her journey and how cannabis helped her come out to her family and friends. She also talked about the differences in advocating for the two movements and how they are viewed socially. So if you’re interested in a really interesting and rainbow-colored conversation, keep reading.

Interview with an LGBTQIA and Cannabis advocate

Jessica Soto was born in 1992 in Guadalajara. She is a proud and out bi-sexual woman. She owns her own cannabis-based business, does advocacy for gay and cannabis rights, and is part of the Occidental Cultural Cannabis Association. We asked her to share her journey with us, and this is what she had to say.

How weed helped me accept myself to the fullest

Hurcann: Hi Jessica, Thank you for taking the time to meet with us. Can you please share a little bit about yourself and what your journey has been like? 

Jessica: The other day I was actually talking to one of my close friends about how I discovered my path at a very young age and I never really had a problem with that. Other people, though, did.

What I mean by that is that I’ve always known I like girls and boys. Love isn’t about gender for me. I always saw it as this completely normal thing. Why wouldn’t I? I was a kid, and you’re not born thinking that liking someone, whoever, is a bad thing.

I mean, I don’t really know why I thought it was so normal, because there was no one in my family or in my life that was like me. But this attraction towards people in general just seemed like the most normal thing in the world to me. And it is, but for a while there, I did feel like a fish out of water.

And that feeling of not fitting in just started creating anxiety in me. Would I be accepted? loved unconditionally? Anyone who has gone through these emotions, whether you’re coming out as gay or as a consumer, can be really hard to take. Imagine what it can do to a kid’s mind.

Time went by, and as a kid I was always very flirtatious. I would even tell my parents I had a girlfriend, but they saw it as a cute thing kids say and didn’t make much of it. Little did they know that the girlfriends weren’t going away.

Before I knew it, I was in middle school, and I was always feeling really anxious about my attraction to the girls in my class. I was very scared to show my feelings because, by that time, life had taught me that being bi-sexual was viewed as this sick thing.

That’s when I discovered weed, and it changed my life. I just felt more comfortable in my own skin, and the walls I'd built around myself began to crumble.One puff at a time.

A few months after I started consuming cannabis, I met Laura and was just enamored with every aspect of the person she was. So I decided to take the leap and she became my first girlfriend.

I honestly don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to face coming out publicly if it hadn’t been for the fact that I enjoyed my occasional blunt. I just wasn’t as anxious with the thought of going for walks and holding her hand or presenting her to my parents.

I’ve actually thought that cannabis reminds us of what we thought in our purest form: as kids. It just washes away these preconceived, mistaken notions that people try to push down your throat incessantly.

But don’t get me wrong, those cannabis-induced, world-peace notions washed away as quickly as they came, and I realized it was going to be a long and rough journey. At the same time, I wasn't going to let this newfound courage just dissipate.

I actually remember losing my best friend over it. She was scared that people would associate her with me and think that she was a lesbian as well. And I’m not even a lesbian.

I tried telling her that that idea was absurd and that she wasn’t even my type, but, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people in the world who are against love. She did end up coming around, though, and we went to the last march together.

The funny thing is that in my relationship with Laura, I experienced the difference between being out and proud while high and being out and proud without it.

When I was high and feeling the relaxing effects of cannabis, I didn’t really care what people thought or if they stared. My girlfriend was actually the one who would be bothered, and I would just tell her to ignore them. I was too unbothered and caught up in my feelings to care.

But when I wasn’t, I would just get extremely angry at people’s judgy faces or archaic comments. And it took away from enjoying my relationship and being present. I was just constantly worried about what people would do or say.

So I would say that weed helped me through navigating the external pressure that I felt and ultimately not giving a damn about anything other than loving myself to the fullest. In a way, I wouldn’t be who I am today without it, which is why I advocate for it.

Coming out as LGBT vs. Coming out as a weed consumer

Hurcann: And when it came to "coming out" to your family, what were you more afraid to tell them? That you like girls or that you smoke weed? 

Jessica: I would definitely say that I had a harder time telling them about the weed. I mean, loving someone isn’t really as worrisome for parents as smoking anything. And the tabus around cannabis are just scary.

I just imagined a better reaction to presenting one of my girlfriends to them, then rolling up smelling like I just smoked an entire blunt in one sitting. I just assumed that my mom would disown me for being a drug addict.

When I had slumber parties with my girlfriends, I didn’t feel the need to hide the bi-sexual part of me. I did, however, sneak off mid-movie to the only spot in the house that my mom didn’t frequent to light up a joint. Then I would return home and enjoy myself with my friends.

I think that says a lot about where I was at that point. And even my friends who knew everything were more understanding of the fact that I was bi-sexual than they were when I told them I smoked weed.

They would just stay inside while I krept off into the night to get a good buzz going, but didn’t have a problem sharing a bed with me. These experiences also made me a little bit more cautious when it came to my cannabis use.

I mean, even if we talk about it from a legal perspective, one is a crime and the other isn’t (at least not anymore). Weed is still illegal in Mexico, after all. So I think that has also been a factor that has influenced my emotions in regards to my weed use and my love for girls.

Hurcann: What were the differences in how your family took the news about you being bi-sexual versus how they took the news about you being a stoner? 

Jessica: I don’t really know the exact moment that my mom knew that I was bi-sexual, but I can imagine that it was much earlier than when we had a conversation about it. She wasn’t really as surprised as I thought she would have been.

But the first time we had a conversation about it was when my younger sister told us she was gay. She came to me first and told me that she only liked girls and that she was in love. But she was terrified to tell our mom. So I decided to come out with her to support her.

I told my mom that I loved experiencing love in whatever format, and my sister told her she was gay, and my mom proceeded to tell us about this girl she had liked in class. She told us that she understood the lure of women; they are really beautiful, after all.

I actually have the feeling that all women are a little bi-sexual. We are really alluring beings. Just stunning. Why wouldn’t everyone be attracted to women? We’re the best.

And as soon as we told her, I felt dumb for having thought she would have reacted any other way. She loves us unconditionally and only wants us to be happy. Both me and my sister ended up realizing that we were worried to death about something that was never going to happen anyway.

Since then, I just think, "Fuck it." The people who love me, love all of me. And I started to care less about hiding the fact that I consumed cannabis. But I was still feeling anxious about my mom finding out.

The thing is that consuming cannabis is a decision. Being bi-sexual isn’t. And that was the main issue for me. I struggled with the fact that you’re surrounded by these ideas about weed that are just wrong, but you internalize them.

I saw it as a decision that I made for myself to help me with self-improvement. Much like I made the decision to open my business, eat healthier, get myself to the gym, go to therapy, etc. But my mom wasn’t going to see it like that.

I mean, referring back to the topic at hand, being part of the LGBT community comes with a lot of mental distress, even in today’s world. External pressure can get really hard on some people, and if you can enjoy a CBD tea to calm your thoughts, why wouldn’t you?

And another thing to note is that not all experiences are the same. My mom had a harder time accepting that I smoked weed. It even led to my leaving, though she eventually warmed up to the idea and even shared a cannabis-infused tea with me the other day.

However, I have a gay friend whose coming out was really gruesome. His family kicked him out of the house, and they haven’t spoken since. But his entire family smokes cannabis, amongst other things.

So it really comes to show that it depends on the cards you’ve been dealt. Bravery isn’t an option when confronting society on either topic, though.

Hurcann: How would you say that these life experiences have shaped the woman you are today? And how has your relationship with your sexuality and your cannabis use evolved? 

Jessica: There was a time when I consumed unholy amounts of cannabis. And it actually started to negatively impact my romantic life. Cannabis made me want to explore dating, go out and have fun, but then I’d be too high to do it.

I think that’s when I realized that while enjoyable, it is a substance that alters the mind and it is best saved for special occasions or when you need it for health issues.

I actually had a relationship that ended up being just a mental connection because we would smoke a ton and we would end up just talking or watching movies instead of getting physical.

But with time, you learn how to surf your high. I know that sounds a little weird. But you understand the times you can smoke and when you won’t be high anymore, and you plan accordingly.

Sometimes I like to enjoy a joint while getting ready for a date, just to take the edge off and calm my nerves and anxiety. By the time I get to my date, I’m no longer high, and I’m relaxed enough to have an engaging and connected conversation.

If I’m feeling in the mood for some intimate time, then I’ll smoke while trying on my outfits, you know, to impress. And I get so into myself that I even come off as more confident and secure in myself.

So yeah, it has helped me a ton, but it is a slippery slope and you have to learn to pick your moments. Weed shouldn’t be treated as a crutch, but it can help you find your center.

Another interesting thing about involving cannabis in a romantic relationship is that there are a ton of cannabis-infused products that you can enjoy with your partner.

There are cannabis-infused condoms, lubricants, massage oils, aphrodisiac drinks, etc. So exploring with your partner can also be a transcendent experience.

I've actually met a lot of people who aren't cannabis users but are interested in trying out topical sex products with their partners. We have to remember that cannabis enhances every sensation. Imagine what that could do for your sex life.

I think this curiosity has a lot to do with people’s relentless need to experience new and more exciting things. And why wouldn’t you want to heighten your already great experiences?

We only get one life, and trying a cannabis-infused lubricant is something you don't want to miss. It helps you connect and be more present in the moment, and who wouldn’t want that?

Weed itself is also really great at helping you connect with people. Sharing a high with someone seems to eliminate the social or emotional barriers that exist in society and allows us to connect on a more human level with the person we are engaging with.

And this applies not only to romantic relationships. Friendships, brotherhoods, sisterhoods, and relationships all get more intimate when sharing a joint. I feel like we forget about everything that divides us because we are complicit in something.

All we want, at the end of the day, is to connect. with ourselves and with other people. Cannabis can be a really beautiful bridge that can make that happen. It just takes the nervousness and preconceived notions away and allows you to live in the moment.

And again, cannabis also helped me accept myself. People were constantly trying to put me in a box, and I don’t really think I fit in any one box. If I was in a relationship with a woman, I was too feminine. If I was in a relationship with a man, I was too masculine.

When I smoke, I feel like I can be myself and that my unique box does have a place in this chaotic world. And if the world has a problem with that, I don’t really care anymore.

I ended up dedicating my life to cannabis and gay rights. I feel like this would be a much better society if we would just live and let live. And I will keep fighting with my cannabis business and cultural association so that we can live as the truest forms of ourselves.

Hurcann: Lastly, we would like to ask you: what common ground do you find between the LGBTQIA+ community and the cannabis community? 

Jessica: We are both fighting for freedom and acceptance. And we will both keep fighting until not one person feels bad about the life they lead.

Hurcann: Thank you so much, Jessica. It was a pleasure to talk to you and we hope that this story makes someone out there feel a little bit more understood and heard.

Conclusion

Jessica bared her soul, and with it, gave really great insight into how these two wonderful communities mix and mesh together. Being rebellious just means rewriting the rules you live your life by.

If you ever feel out of place or like you’re in the wrong, remember that you have thousands and millions of people who understand, accept, and love you just the way you are.

Finding your community and fighting for what you believe is something we all have to do, in some way or another. We only have one life, so why wouldn’t we live it to the fullest?

If you enjoyed this interview and feel like it could help a loved one, feel free to send it to them and let them know you’ve got their back. We would love to hear your stories as well! So feel free to comment in the section below.